According to a Cosmopolitan.com article, 55% of standard Pap tests yield a false negative result. This is a pretty scary number considering most women rely on this once-a-year test to make sure everything is all right. The article also states there is a Pap alternative that 75% of people surveyed had never even heard of. It is called ThinPrep, and it is considered to be more accurate.

My question: If this test is proven to be more effective, why are gynecologists not using it? It makes me wonder if my last few tests were accurate or if I need to worry about going back to the doctor to receive a ThinPrep test. It also worries me that my gynecologist did not recommend this procedure since it is proven to be more efficient and give more correct responses. Has anyone talked to her gynecologist about this different test? I’m curious about the accuracy information I’m hearing on both fronts now.

The following was featured in Housekeeping Monthly on May 13, 1955. 

The good wife’s guide

1. Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is a part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

3. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

4. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

5. Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

6. Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

7. Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

8. Be happy to see him.

9. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

10. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

11. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

12. Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

13. Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

14. Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

15. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

16. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

17. Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember – he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

18. A good wife always knows her place.

Now, I don’t consider myself a feminist, but I do have to say that this is ridiculous. I am a newlywed myself, and about the only point I can agree with from the above is “Be happy to see him.” My husband and I both work full-time jobs, and we are both exhausted when we get home. Thankfully, he does the cooking and I clean up afterwards. We both clean up on the weekends and do the laundry together. We take turns scooping the cat box.

I will certainly offer to listen to my husband if he has had a hard day, but he would do the same for me. I like to surprise him with a box of his favorite candy every now and then. He picked me up from the airport last week and brought me flowers. To me, these are the little things that make a marriage fun. I love being in a partnership with my husband and knowing that we’re on a level playing field. Can you imagine living back in the 50’s and having to remember that your husband’s topics of conversation were “more important than yours”?

What do you think being a “good wife” means in this day and age?

Consumer Reports ShopSmart October/November 2007

Tampon Alternatives

“Why you may want to consider trying something new”

When it comes to tampons, you probably have your favorite brand and stick with it. The last thing you’d want to do is experiment in that department. But perhaps you’re curious about what else is out there. Maybe you have concerns about safety or the environment. It’s true that tampons generate a whole lot of waste. The typical woman uses thousands during her lifetime. So it’s no wonder that during an international coastal cleanup in 2006, volunteers collected nearly 20,000 tampons in one day. On the health front, there was a dioxin scare back in the 1990s. Since then, manufacturers have changed the way they process materals in tampons to avoid creating dioxin, which in large doses is linked to cancer and other health problems. In theory, some tampons may still contain dioxin, but manufacturers and the Food and Drug Administration say levels are undetectable. Even if small amounts were present, experts say that your diet (especially meat and dairy products) exposes you to thousands of times more dioxin than tampons. A bigger concern is Toxic Shock Syndrome, which is strongly linked to overly absorbent tampons. (To cut your risk, use the least-absorbent tampons possible and change regularly, especially before bedtime.) Some health activists argue that more studies on tampon risks are needed. Rep. Carolyn B. Maloney, D-N.Y., is working to reintroduce a bill to establish federal research programs on, among other things, the health risks of dioxin and additives in tampons.

If you’re thinking about trying alternatives to traditional tampons, the good news is you’ve got a few choices worth checking out, such as menstrual cups, which seem to be as environmentally friendly as it gets in feminine protection. The cup also saves you money and can be superconvenient. No more tampons rolling around in your purse!

Disposable menstrual cups

They’re similar to reusable cups, but they have no stem. (If you get the reusable kind, you can trim the stem to make it more comfortable.) Yes, they’re disposable so they create waste, but you need to change a cup only about half as often as tampons so you’ll create less garbage. Two bonuses: No reported cases of TSS or other problems, and you can have sex without the mess during your period. But they come in only one size and don’t fit everyone.

Price comparison

Comparable in price to tampons per cycle.

Where to get them

www.drugstore.com, Target, CVS, Wal-Mart, and Walgreens. Go to www.softcup.com for more info.

I got this e-mail from a good friend of mine. It is (supposedly) an actual letter sent to American company Procter and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph…

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from “Aunt Flo.” Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”

Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?

FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong,” or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that’s a promise I will keep.

I recently came across an article in Health Magazine titled, “An Update on the Pill: Your birth control may affect you months after your last dose. Here’s how.” As a woman currently on the pill, it scares me to read that it took women, who had previously been on the pill, longer to conceive. U.S. doctors have rejected these findings. They say that just a few days after stopping the pill, the hormones that prevent pregnancy are out of your system. But, how can we reject these findings so quickly without further study?

I am in no way ready to get pregnant at this point in my life, but I do eventually want kids. It scares me to think that what I am doing now could affect this. Is anyone else listening to this research and changing their ways?